meh

I swear these past few weeks cant get any better * sarcastic voice*.
So nathans(boyfriend) nan passed away tonight :( it sucks.
One of my best friends passed away a few weeks ago
Nathans nan passed tonight
And im failing and have exams next week and are gong bomb at them :(
So yeah my month can really just go run away right about now .

I cant stop thinking about Katie i wrote this on her dedication page today .'hey hun. Went through all our photos today DAMN i never realised how many photos we took && im talking over 200 :) photogenic much? nah never ae not us hehe. LOL remebered th funniest thing today when me & you sat under on the old wharf under the new one, and we were having the meanest heart to heart, when those two dudes came and sat down and we could hear there convo cause we were below them and we were trying not to laugh to loud haha FAIL. & then we went to the bakehouse after to go look in th mirror and someone knocked on the door & we were like just a minute and then went out holding hands and he gave us the weirdest look hahahaa. gosh i hate that we not going to have any more random times :'( x love you hun R.I.Paradise'
and then i cried..... and cried...... and cried

ARGHHHH i hate feelings meh :(

anyway i need to get some sleep im dosed up to my eyeballs on pain killers and need to hit th floor

talk soon... i hope

:(

First off all ...
My absence: On Sunday 24th October 2010 at 1.20am one of my best friends was tragically killed in a car crash about 1.5km from her house. Because she was part Maori she was brought to her house and her casket was left in the house and open for 4 days and on the 5Th day we had the funeral. As weird as it may sound I preferred being out at her house with her than at home, it gave me a sense of comfort and peace, it felt like she wasn't really gone, like she was still with us, but it also made me feel like she was just going to walk through the door and be like hey jokes on you guys:(. It hasn't sunk in it doesn't feel real, I don't want it to be real, I miss her so much , she was the one I told everything and I mean everything to. And she told me everything :(. She was a huge part of my life and now she's gone yes I know she's still in my heart but its not the same as seeing her gorgeous smiling face. I feel like a part of me is missing and it sucks and I hate it all I can think about everyday is her. But my promise to Katie is that baby girl I know you're not here for your parents to watch you grow up but we will always be here for you're parents I promise to always go and visit them. Babe you were only 17 it shouldn't have been you it shouldn't have happened why didnt you just get out of the car :'(. Its not fair . I hope you journey to the stars was safe and i will come visit you all the time
xoxoxo I love you so much my Taydee cakes